I can't really fault Marigold from slipping away like that while in front of her co-workers. I mean, they just kissed and I don't think they really established what exactly this relationship they are starting is: girlfriends, friends-with-kissing-benefits or what-have-you.
I'm sure Mar's co-workers would be cool with her being gay/bi/whatever but I don't think Mar is 100% sure she knows what she wants yet and might be waiting to see how solid this relationship is, considering how her past relationships have gone. Give them time to really cement what they have going on and then flaunt it in front of their co-workers.
That’s a HARD slap this early on, in this day and age, in a place as metropolitan as New York. Can anyone tell me why they actually *like* Mar? I just hate her more and more.
It really isn't. Anyone this early on in a "relationship" (they're friends, they've made out once) isn't someone you want to introduce to your coworkers as a stable fixture in your life. And yes, that does sting, but it's not rude.
But that's the point, Jane's all in, and Marigold now shows doubt. It has nothing to do with the fact that they're both girls: that's the justification of Marigold's reactions, but not the problem as far as Jane sees it. The problem is that Marigold maybe isn't as sure of her feeling for Jane as Jane is for Marigold, or something.
There’s no need to be rude just because I don’t like one character in the whole comic. If I didn’t feel things about characters, it would be bad writing. The fact that I don’t like her is actually a compliment to the comic, because people like and dislike different qualities in people. I just happen to loathe self-centered career women who only care about themselves. They perpetuate a bad stereotype about women with careers. I also re-read the archive (the whole thing!) after I made my comment to double check myself. I feel super sorry for Jane right now. She made a remark about wanting a great romance; and this is the furthest thing from that.
You're right, I was rude and I apologize for it. I was remembering the 90s and got carried away…~
See, I was identifying with Marigold there. Who doesn't actually strike me as a ruthless Career Woman – she doesn't seem to be enjoying her time in that office. It's not easy to survive in a huge, expensive city, and it's SUPER not easy when you're alone. I absolutely understand clinging to that life preserver. In a job like that – don't like it, but for now you need it – I know I personally prefer to have NO personality at work. I simply don't want that job or those people to have any part of the real me. It wouldn't shock me if Marigold was similar!
I rarely like my jobs, but while I have them I'm committed to them. So if it's a Play Time Over, Work Time Now situation, I absolutely go "ok, bye" and abruptly end my lunch hangout with someone I actually care about, trusting them to understand. That's what I saw here, at first. It wasn't until I read the comments and gave it some thought that I got how devastating that might be for Jane in this particular situation. Glad, as always, that the comments are here for tactless fuckboys like me.
Anyway, I'm still not upset with Marigold. She's just been through an earthquake, and now she has to go back to work. Maybe she and Jane will work it out, or maybe it'll become a huge thing and we'll see exactly why Jane's relationships never go anywhere even though she is THIS. I think they'll work it out, though!
Also, just because their relationship is generally socially acceptable in New York doesn't mean Marigold is comfortable with it. We don't really know what Mar's level of experience with girls is. What's more, it's easier to be straight than to be gay even in New York, which is why plenty of bi-sexual people prefer to be seen by their peers as straight. That last point isn't the most noble impulse in the world, of course, but it wouldn't make Marigold a monster.
Which, as others have pointed out, is assuming Mar's behavior even has anything to do with sexuality, which it might not. I tend to think it is about that, though. You don't devote a whole page of a comic to a meaningless relationship hiccup, this is the first time we've seen Marigold have an intimate relationship with a woman, and one of Jane's recurring themes is the unique set of relationship difficulties that come with being a gay/lesbian person.
I don't think anyone HAS to give a reason why they like Marigold or any other character just because someone else seems to hate them. It's pointless to have that kind of "well this is why you SHOULD like them" conversation when the person has made it clear they just really hate a character. It's fine though like it's fine to just like a character too.
I like Mar because she seems like a real person. She doesn't behave perfectly, and her confusion in a late-in-life bisexual coming out is understandable to me. I think a lot of people have been both in Jane's shoes and Marigold's shoes, where they aren't sure what they want, and what they want to show in front of other people yet.
It could be because Marigold isn't quite comfortable because of she's unsure of her sexuality and displaying it in front of her coworkers. But it could also be because she just doesn't want to show affection in front of her coworkers at all, especially in a new "relationship", or whatever this is supposed to be. Personally, I don't even kiss or hug my own husband of 5 years in front of my coworkers.
The interesting thing about Marigold, to me, is that it often seems like Hannah's interpretation of her as disingenuous and a fake gets adopted by the readers.
I don't know if I like Marigold, but I can relate. I have a past that is socially unacceptable for office-mates to know about, so I can never speak to them about my past or my friends. I try to keep them completely separate because if they found out about my past or the people I hang out with, I would lose my standing and become a pariah in the office. That quickly leads to no job. It's very hard navigating office politics when the group you're working with is 100% the opposite of you and your group in every way possible.
Mar needs some time to adjust, and I think that's fair. While her abrupt goodbye/uneasiness in front of co-workers was rude, Jane should understand. I mean considering how things *could* have gone, the risk Jane took went about as well as it could have in this moment.
I don't know if I agree with this: "Jane should understand." She has her own room to feel hurt or alienated, though I don't think she will bc she is a seasoned badass. I'm not for shaming Marigold: her actions and behaviors are understandable in this ambiguous situation.
But, speaking as a gay person who is not as brave or thick-skinned as Jane, this is a definite fear of mine. I see the risk she took and I really feel for her in this moment. Even for someone as indomitable as Jane, I don't think it's something you ever get used to.
Given the stereotypes about bisexual people — that we are just experimenting and once the opposite sex comes by we will leave our same sex partners, because you can only be one or the other, but not both — I wonder how Jane will handle this. I don't know if Jane is bisexual too, maybe she is, but we haven't had any evidence that she is in to men at all. Jane does seem like a smooth operator, but I think it would be more interesting for the story if she *didn't* take this on the chin, and allowed her feelings of attachment to grow more than (what seems like) usual. A lot of the time, that kind of cool and nonchalant demeanor is a cover for personal insecurities. Maybe Jane is just playing around and it won't matter to her that much, but given her facial expressions in these panels, I get the feeling she cares more about Mar than she wants to let on.
To me, Mar's reaction seems reasonable whether or Jane was male or female. Sudden coworkers, whirlwind sexuality not 5 minutes ago in broad daylight, it's an awkward situation.
This is completely normal behavior for someone who just made out with a friend they were not maybe totally sure they liked til JUST NOW but are TOTALLY DOWN FOR but also SORT OF HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IS GOING ON. THis just happened and just cause you has a super hot make out session with someone does not mean that A) you are in a relationship B) That you will ever even do it again or C) That you need to alter your life or actions in any way at all. Quit shamin Marigold she's had a helluva day!
Am I the only one who has been both Marigold and Jane at different times?
I've definitely been both Marigold and Jane at different times. I'm feeling for them both right now. I know the awkwardness Mar is feeling. If she's anything like me, she just wasn't confident enough at that moment to hug or kiss. And in an hour she'll be kicking herself, wondering if she ruined everything by not being forward enough.
And meanwhile, if Jane is anything like me, she'll be fretting about this until she seems Marigold again. Hopefully she won't ruin everything with an angsty text.
I want Marigold to fret a little.
If she's too calm she could passively blow jane off while she processes what happened.
Both characters deserve this.
But Marigold has all the power, and I dont think she wants it, nor knows how to use it.
Janes in an awkward place. Marigold told her to text her,
Maybe I'm overthinking it. I just dont know why the comic would showcase this moment if it wasnt important.
Everyone is going in to work for the pot luck. Marigold has to get in for it. She can't be late, that's how jobs work, and in the first panel Jane mentions keeping Marigold, implying they're running a bit late, something backed up by everyone already being going in. Not to mention it just being one short make-out session between two girls that have been nothing but friends to this point and the fact that they need to actually discuss what this relationship really is (girlfriends, friends with benefits, a one-time thing, what have you) and set boundaries before they do any kind of public displays of affection, which is really not a conversation that should be had in front of your coworkers on your way in to the pot luck. Just give her a few pages, things will be fine.
I agree with you, that sounds reasonable but….
I've been in Janes shoes a bunch of times,
where it looked just like this, with a sharp switch to polite social niceties, after everything was perfect.
I hope it’s not going to be a situation where Marigold will just date Jane because of some passive, “I’ll be with this person because I already know they like me.”
I agree with the people saying it's pretty reasonable from where Mar is standing, and I would also add that PDA in front of the building you work in and in front of your coworkers is pretty unprofessional, so I don't blame her for not giving a kiss goodbye or something.
Mar's abrupt goodbye to Jane could also be part of that whole thread that Marigold was having with her boss before, where it is strongly implied that she really doesn't talk about herself AT ALL in her office. Her boss was being all like "what ELSE don't we know about you HMMM??" and Mar just kindof dodged the question. I mean sure, her boss was being nosy, but the comic seemed to imply that Mar really wants to do well in this job and feels that in order to do that, she's got to keep her personal life utterly separate from her work life. I'm curious to know why exactly that is and look forward to finding that out (hopefully!)
ALSO I just noticed that her co-worker said "you spit in yours yet, Mar?" why would you spit in the food you're going to give your boss, or even joke about that, unless you are maybe not on great terms with your boss, right?
I thought Jane's trailing reaction was to the "you spit in yours yet" comment… that doesn't sound like a fun place to work. Not to mention it potentially rhymes with their make-out session.
Yeah, that's what I thought too. "You spit in yours"…. "Swapping Spit"…. etc etc. That was probably a small part of it. But then I read the comments and realized the deeper subtext to Jane vs. Mar expectations. Thx guys!
I couldn't figure out why Jane was upset at all until I read the comments. I totally would not be affectionate with a very new developing seed of a relationship right out in front of my workplace, but I'm also very private around my workplace, and especially private about relationships. This is something I've had to work out with my partners, all of whom are/were used to being more public.
I didn't get it either, Mar's actions seemed perfectly normal to me.
Then again I'm the kind of guy who is perpetually confused as to why his girlfriend is mad.
What I immediatly thought went I saw Marigold’s face on panel 4 is that she might have a huge torrent of simultaneous thoughts about “what’s next”, realizing maybe that what’s next is sex and intimacy. At least that’s what happenned to me when I first passed the step of just realizing I was going to have a second date with a woman after a life long heterosexual dates – I suddenly felt insecure and out of my comfort zone.
So I just imagine having these “what’s going to happen on that second date” thoughts plus the coworkers… That’s a lot to deal with in a 5 sec window of time.
53 thoughts on “#804 – okay bye”
jen
Jane's face in the last panel is all too familiar…
Lane
oh Marigold… 🙁
Megz
I can't really fault Marigold from slipping away like that while in front of her co-workers. I mean, they just kissed and I don't think they really established what exactly this relationship they are starting is: girlfriends, friends-with-kissing-benefits or what-have-you.
I'm sure Mar's co-workers would be cool with her being gay/bi/whatever but I don't think Mar is 100% sure she knows what she wants yet and might be waiting to see how solid this relationship is, considering how her past relationships have gone. Give them time to really cement what they have going on and then flaunt it in front of their co-workers.
Zee
That’s a HARD slap this early on, in this day and age, in a place as metropolitan as New York. Can anyone tell me why they actually *like* Mar? I just hate her more and more.
Nobody Girl
It really isn't. Anyone this early on in a "relationship" (they're friends, they've made out once) isn't someone you want to introduce to your coworkers as a stable fixture in your life. And yes, that does sting, but it's not rude.
Charlie Lobo
But that's the point, Jane's all in, and Marigold now shows doubt. It has nothing to do with the fact that they're both girls: that's the justification of Marigold's reactions, but not the problem as far as Jane sees it. The problem is that Marigold maybe isn't as sure of her feeling for Jane as Jane is for Marigold, or something.
Duke
Totally acceptable. One has to accept a certain amount of glitchy behavior in "early/ill-defined relationship" mode.
Yammy
Settle down, Beavis, she has to go back to work
Zee
There’s no need to be rude just because I don’t like one character in the whole comic. If I didn’t feel things about characters, it would be bad writing. The fact that I don’t like her is actually a compliment to the comic, because people like and dislike different qualities in people. I just happen to loathe self-centered career women who only care about themselves. They perpetuate a bad stereotype about women with careers. I also re-read the archive (the whole thing!) after I made my comment to double check myself. I feel super sorry for Jane right now. She made a remark about wanting a great romance; and this is the furthest thing from that.
Yammy
You're right, I was rude and I apologize for it. I was remembering the 90s and got carried away…~
See, I was identifying with Marigold there. Who doesn't actually strike me as a ruthless Career Woman – she doesn't seem to be enjoying her time in that office. It's not easy to survive in a huge, expensive city, and it's SUPER not easy when you're alone. I absolutely understand clinging to that life preserver. In a job like that – don't like it, but for now you need it – I know I personally prefer to have NO personality at work. I simply don't want that job or those people to have any part of the real me. It wouldn't shock me if Marigold was similar!
I rarely like my jobs, but while I have them I'm committed to them. So if it's a Play Time Over, Work Time Now situation, I absolutely go "ok, bye" and abruptly end my lunch hangout with someone I actually care about, trusting them to understand. That's what I saw here, at first. It wasn't until I read the comments and gave it some thought that I got how devastating that might be for Jane in this particular situation. Glad, as always, that the comments are here for tactless fuckboys like me.
Anyway, I'm still not upset with Marigold. She's just been through an earthquake, and now she has to go back to work. Maybe she and Jane will work it out, or maybe it'll become a huge thing and we'll see exactly why Jane's relationships never go anywhere even though she is THIS. I think they'll work it out, though!
Steve B.
Also, just because their relationship is generally socially acceptable in New York doesn't mean Marigold is comfortable with it. We don't really know what Mar's level of experience with girls is. What's more, it's easier to be straight than to be gay even in New York, which is why plenty of bi-sexual people prefer to be seen by their peers as straight. That last point isn't the most noble impulse in the world, of course, but it wouldn't make Marigold a monster.
Which, as others have pointed out, is assuming Mar's behavior even has anything to do with sexuality, which it might not. I tend to think it is about that, though. You don't devote a whole page of a comic to a meaningless relationship hiccup, this is the first time we've seen Marigold have an intimate relationship with a woman, and one of Jane's recurring themes is the unique set of relationship difficulties that come with being a gay/lesbian person.
SuperGuest
Because she's human
Nova
Interesting how they pile on justification, but haven't actually answered your question…one I'd also like to know the answer to.
Megz
I don't think anyone HAS to give a reason why they like Marigold or any other character just because someone else seems to hate them. It's pointless to have that kind of "well this is why you SHOULD like them" conversation when the person has made it clear they just really hate a character. It's fine though like it's fine to just like a character too.
Jay
I like Mar because she seems like a real person. She doesn't behave perfectly, and her confusion in a late-in-life bisexual coming out is understandable to me. I think a lot of people have been both in Jane's shoes and Marigold's shoes, where they aren't sure what they want, and what they want to show in front of other people yet.
It could be because Marigold isn't quite comfortable because of she's unsure of her sexuality and displaying it in front of her coworkers. But it could also be because she just doesn't want to show affection in front of her coworkers at all, especially in a new "relationship", or whatever this is supposed to be. Personally, I don't even kiss or hug my own husband of 5 years in front of my coworkers.
The interesting thing about Marigold, to me, is that it often seems like Hannah's interpretation of her as disingenuous and a fake gets adopted by the readers.
RachaelR
I don't know if I like Marigold, but I can relate. I have a past that is socially unacceptable for office-mates to know about, so I can never speak to them about my past or my friends. I try to keep them completely separate because if they found out about my past or the people I hang out with, I would lose my standing and become a pariah in the office. That quickly leads to no job. It's very hard navigating office politics when the group you're working with is 100% the opposite of you and your group in every way possible.
peakpointmatrix
Mar needs some time to adjust, and I think that's fair. While her abrupt goodbye/uneasiness in front of co-workers was rude, Jane should understand. I mean considering how things *could* have gone, the risk Jane took went about as well as it could have in this moment.
kev
I don't know if I agree with this: "Jane should understand." She has her own room to feel hurt or alienated, though I don't think she will bc she is a seasoned badass. I'm not for shaming Marigold: her actions and behaviors are understandable in this ambiguous situation.
But, speaking as a gay person who is not as brave or thick-skinned as Jane, this is a definite fear of mine. I see the risk she took and I really feel for her in this moment. Even for someone as indomitable as Jane, I don't think it's something you ever get used to.
Jay
Given the stereotypes about bisexual people — that we are just experimenting and once the opposite sex comes by we will leave our same sex partners, because you can only be one or the other, but not both — I wonder how Jane will handle this. I don't know if Jane is bisexual too, maybe she is, but we haven't had any evidence that she is in to men at all. Jane does seem like a smooth operator, but I think it would be more interesting for the story if she *didn't* take this on the chin, and allowed her feelings of attachment to grow more than (what seems like) usual. A lot of the time, that kind of cool and nonchalant demeanor is a cover for personal insecurities. Maybe Jane is just playing around and it won't matter to her that much, but given her facial expressions in these panels, I get the feeling she cares more about Mar than she wants to let on.
To me, Mar's reaction seems reasonable whether or Jane was male or female. Sudden coworkers, whirlwind sexuality not 5 minutes ago in broad daylight, it's an awkward situation.
SpøgelseKys
This is completely normal behavior for someone who just made out with a friend they were not maybe totally sure they liked til JUST NOW but are TOTALLY DOWN FOR but also SORT OF HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IS GOING ON. THis just happened and just cause you has a super hot make out session with someone does not mean that A) you are in a relationship B) That you will ever even do it again or C) That you need to alter your life or actions in any way at all. Quit shamin Marigold she's had a helluva day!
Am I the only one who has been both Marigold and Jane at different times?
MARIJANE 4 LYFE
funsponging
I've definitely been both Marigold and Jane at different times. I'm feeling for them both right now. I know the awkwardness Mar is feeling. If she's anything like me, she just wasn't confident enough at that moment to hug or kiss. And in an hour she'll be kicking herself, wondering if she ruined everything by not being forward enough.
funsponging
And meanwhile, if Jane is anything like me, she'll be fretting about this until she seems Marigold again. Hopefully she won't ruin everything with an angsty text.
funsponging
Basically, let's hope they both keep calm and don't overthink too much until they see each other again.
Insanenoodlyguy
I'm sorry but I suspect this comic will be more entertaining if this DOESN'T happen. Meredith gets to draw much funner faces in that case!
adamrocketblack
I want Marigold to fret a little.
If she's too calm she could passively blow jane off while she processes what happened.
Both characters deserve this.
But Marigold has all the power, and I dont think she wants it, nor knows how to use it.
Janes in an awkward place. Marigold told her to text her,
Maybe I'm overthinking it. I just dont know why the comic would showcase this moment if it wasnt important.
Arkadi
What? D: What's this? Were the previous pages just a daydream in Jane's mind? What the hell's happening here???
Adam
How I feel towards Meredith right now.
http://i.imgur.com/YNp6ehL.jpg
Basmah
Could someone please explain what the “you spit in yours yet?” expression means? Thank you!
@AngFdz
The coworker is asking if she's spit in the baked goods she bought for the party cuz they don't like their boss 🙂
Soandso
He's asking if she spit in the food she's bringing to the party, presumably because the party is apparently for her boss.
greengeekgirl
I think it's because she likes to "hold" the best pastry for herself, ie, spits in the pastry she wants (hers) so nobody else eats it.
kev
He's asking if she's spit in her potluck contribution yet.
Basmah
Thank you everyone for the clarification!
Cameron
Everyone is going in to work for the pot luck. Marigold has to get in for it. She can't be late, that's how jobs work, and in the first panel Jane mentions keeping Marigold, implying they're running a bit late, something backed up by everyone already being going in. Not to mention it just being one short make-out session between two girls that have been nothing but friends to this point and the fact that they need to actually discuss what this relationship really is (girlfriends, friends with benefits, a one-time thing, what have you) and set boundaries before they do any kind of public displays of affection, which is really not a conversation that should be had in front of your coworkers on your way in to the pot luck. Just give her a few pages, things will be fine.
adamrocketblack
I agree with you, that sounds reasonable but….
I've been in Janes shoes a bunch of times,
where it looked just like this, with a sharp switch to polite social niceties, after everything was perfect.
and it always results in a total kiss off
Arkadi
But why couldn't they just say goodbye at the construction site, or a couple corners away from Mar's office?
Naomi Maria
I hope it’s not going to be a situation where Marigold will just date Jane because of some passive, “I’ll be with this person because I already know they like me.”
kamesen
"She'll hold together. ..Hear me, baby? Hold together."
Nolan
I totally forgot about the potluck storyline because MariJane
NemoProprius
Oh no. No no no no. No. No! Damn it, Mar!!
Switch
I agree with the people saying it's pretty reasonable from where Mar is standing, and I would also add that PDA in front of the building you work in and in front of your coworkers is pretty unprofessional, so I don't blame her for not giving a kiss goodbye or something.
Allie
I'm absolutely loving the coloring of these panels! 😀
Laura
Mar's abrupt goodbye to Jane could also be part of that whole thread that Marigold was having with her boss before, where it is strongly implied that she really doesn't talk about herself AT ALL in her office. Her boss was being all like "what ELSE don't we know about you HMMM??" and Mar just kindof dodged the question. I mean sure, her boss was being nosy, but the comic seemed to imply that Mar really wants to do well in this job and feels that in order to do that, she's got to keep her personal life utterly separate from her work life. I'm curious to know why exactly that is and look forward to finding that out (hopefully!)
Laura
ALSO I just noticed that her co-worker said "you spit in yours yet, Mar?" why would you spit in the food you're going to give your boss, or even joke about that, unless you are maybe not on great terms with your boss, right?
Mental Mouse
I thought Jane's trailing reaction was to the "you spit in yours yet" comment… that doesn't sound like a fun place to work. Not to mention it potentially rhymes with their make-out session.
Devon
Yeah, that's what I thought too. "You spit in yours"…. "Swapping Spit"…. etc etc. That was probably a small part of it. But then I read the comments and realized the deeper subtext to Jane vs. Mar expectations. Thx guys!
Jam
I couldn't figure out why Jane was upset at all until I read the comments. I totally would not be affectionate with a very new developing seed of a relationship right out in front of my workplace, but I'm also very private around my workplace, and especially private about relationships. This is something I've had to work out with my partners, all of whom are/were used to being more public.
mohammed
I didn't get it either, Mar's actions seemed perfectly normal to me.
Then again I'm the kind of guy who is perpetually confused as to why his girlfriend is mad.
tess
I find this relatable.
adamrocketblack
Oh Marigold,
If you feel this, Please do not screw this up.
This could be everything for you.
Please do not blow Jane off. She deserves better.
Sophie
What I immediatly thought went I saw Marigold’s face on panel 4 is that she might have a huge torrent of simultaneous thoughts about “what’s next”, realizing maybe that what’s next is sex and intimacy. At least that’s what happenned to me when I first passed the step of just realizing I was going to have a second date with a woman after a life long heterosexual dates – I suddenly felt insecure and out of my comfort zone.
So I just imagine having these “what’s going to happen on that second date” thoughts plus the coworkers… That’s a lot to deal with in a 5 sec window of time.
richard schumacher
Jane's eyes are two fermatas