Here I had in mind the most painful moment of all, when Park calls her bluff and actually goes. In astonishment she wills herself to looks back, needing to see that empty seat for herself.
No, it's a (stereotypical, not at all universal) woman thing. It's just another take on the "women can't say what they really want" trope. Some lesbians do it too, much to the chagrin of the more mature and honest ones.
I imagine there are also guys who do it, but I'm not the type of person people come to with guy problems, so I haven't seen it first- or second-hand.
I've seen both men and women pull this move, not just with partners but also with family members and friends. I will admit to having done it a time or two myself. I don't want to quite call it manipulative, but it is clearly not emotionally honest. Though to be fair, being emotionally honest and mature in what you say is difficult if not nearly impossible in a time like this, IME
megavanilluxe
One of the benefits of being slightly autistic is that emotional honesty comes naturally in all situations…. not to say I'm honest about everything, but I've never actually found a good reason to lie in this kind of emotionally vulnerable situation. So I haven't.
I was broken up with about three times in the span of a week by a woman. The first time was… easy for her, I guess. She told me she wanted to go back to just friends. I'd generally been fighting to keep her, through various bungles of my own, but this one seemed so final. I told her that I respected her enough to agree if that's what we needed to do, but that I wasn't sure if I should fight it.
Anyways, I was about to turn this into a sorrowful rant, but the short of it is she told me I was supposed to fight it and tell her all the things I'd been telling her all along. When I couldn't do that anymore was when we both realized it was over.
I had no idea either. Seemed like a natural conclusion of the breakup conversation. Are there any clues that should have told Park to not leave when she asked?
I'm no fan of Park but I feel like there's an alternate version of Octopus Pie where he's the sympathetic lead and Eve is the indecisive, stuck-in-a-rut young woman with no idea what she's doing with her life, and he can't quite get over her even though he knows he should.
I guess what I'm saying is we're all the protagonist in our own stories. Park's inability to really understand Eve and her needs is a character flaw and it's what keeps them from ever fully connecting even when they're both trying. He's not the right person for her, and the comic bears that out, up to and including their final encounter when, yes, he's a dick … but even there, I think Meredith does a good job of making him an _understandable_ dick.
8 thoughts on “#765 – please go”
TFM
…that was a bluff? …is this a straight people thing?
megavanilluxe
No, it's a (stereotypical, not at all universal) woman thing. It's just another take on the "women can't say what they really want" trope. Some lesbians do it too, much to the chagrin of the more mature and honest ones.
I imagine there are also guys who do it, but I'm not the type of person people come to with guy problems, so I haven't seen it first- or second-hand.
Jaybird
I've seen both men and women pull this move, not just with partners but also with family members and friends. I will admit to having done it a time or two myself. I don't want to quite call it manipulative, but it is clearly not emotionally honest. Though to be fair, being emotionally honest and mature in what you say is difficult if not nearly impossible in a time like this, IME
megavanilluxe
One of the benefits of being slightly autistic is that emotional honesty comes naturally in all situations…. not to say I'm honest about everything, but I've never actually found a good reason to lie in this kind of emotionally vulnerable situation. So I haven't.
Louise
I was also like "what bluff?!"
Just another one of those weird 'other humans' things.
Kaz
Late reply ahoy.
I was broken up with about three times in the span of a week by a woman. The first time was… easy for her, I guess. She told me she wanted to go back to just friends. I'd generally been fighting to keep her, through various bungles of my own, but this one seemed so final. I told her that I respected her enough to agree if that's what we needed to do, but that I wasn't sure if I should fight it.
Anyways, I was about to turn this into a sorrowful rant, but the short of it is she told me I was supposed to fight it and tell her all the things I'd been telling her all along. When I couldn't do that anymore was when we both realized it was over.
Amelie W.
I had no idea either. Seemed like a natural conclusion of the breakup conversation. Are there any clues that should have told Park to not leave when she asked?
cwbuecheler
I'm no fan of Park but I feel like there's an alternate version of Octopus Pie where he's the sympathetic lead and Eve is the indecisive, stuck-in-a-rut young woman with no idea what she's doing with her life, and he can't quite get over her even though he knows he should.
I guess what I'm saying is we're all the protagonist in our own stories. Park's inability to really understand Eve and her needs is a character flaw and it's what keeps them from ever fully connecting even when they're both trying. He's not the right person for her, and the comic bears that out, up to and including their final encounter when, yes, he's a dick … but even there, I think Meredith does a good job of making him an _understandable_ dick.