Why do girls tell other girls they're pretty?
I might tell a fellow bud he's looking well dressed or something, if he's dressed up, but other than that I don't. I generally don't compliment my friends on anything unless they've done something I think is really great.
When girls do that I just… I dunno. I cringe. I don't like when self esteem is tied to physical appearance.
Different codes, is what it is. A dude telling a dude that he's looking great and it looks like he's bulked up a little isn't just a breach of code, it's dudes' mutiny (as Onstad put it). Girls telling each other they're pretty isn't. Cultural norms ain't gotta be consistent.
You're right that it's a question of different codes, but I think what it stems from more than anything else is the all-consuming fear of seeming gay.
Garrett
I seldom ever worry about seeming gay. Why should it matter? If you are confident in your own sexuality then you don’t worry over those kinds of things.
HateMachine
I think it's probably much more separate from homophobia than you're giving it credit for. A lot of guys are generally uncomfortable being open with emotions, regardless of their feelings about homosexuality. There's a very, very long-held social expectation that men be stoic, and not put their feelings on display.
The result is that not only will a lot of guys not be comfortable giving compliments to other guys, they may also be uncomfortable receiving them. Which prompts a lot of other guys to refrain simply on the grounds that they don't know how their remarks will be received.
We're not looking-gay-averse (okay, several of us are), just awkwardness-averse.
Well, of course self-esteem based on non-appearance is important. But lots of girls also want to be pretty, so it's nice when someone tells you so! Better still if it's from another girl, they usually don't have ulterior motives. It's also fun to compliment people, I guess? I told a girl I don't know that her haircut was cute once and she just beamed at me and I felt good about it all day.
Why shouldn't self-esteem be tied to physical appearance? It shouldn't rely on arbitrary and absurd standards of beauty, but physical appearance isn't meaningless — it's all about having an internalalized, strong self-image, which is of course what supportive comments like that are supposed to effect.
Why do dudes worry so much about what girls do? They're always asking, "Why do girls go to the bathroom in groups? Why do girls take so long to get ready? Why are girls so emotional? Why do girls blah blah blah blah BLAH?" I don't know, why do guys obsess so much over girls? Just live your life and be happy, man.
I am happy. Its just something I seem to see girls do that I don't seem to see boys do I and I didn't really understand it. It was also relevant, because it was in the comic. I wanted to know whether there was any subtext I was missing since Mar seems to have a relatively fragile ego and sense of self-esteem.
When you don't know about something aren't you curious?
Well, it's a good thing to ask questions like that. I mean, aside from learning about learned social behaviors you also learn about the society that fostered them. For instance, some girls go in groups to the bathroom because they are afraid of getting jumped on the way there or the way back, or just otherwise being bothered. Going somewhere in groups ups your security from outside attention. It may not even be a conscious thing for them, and it's not the reason all of them do it. But asking those sorts of questions reveals those sorts of answers, and in contemplating those answers we may reduce the amount of jackasses and bad people in the world as they become more aware.
Anyway, it is a good thing people ask questions so don't discourage! (unless they're extremely stupid [but none of the questions in this thread are extremely stupid])
Can you delete my comments? I wasn't trying to start a fight or ruffle feathers, because of my ignorance, but I think I some how did. If not, its okay.
Anyways, thanks for the comic.
JackC
And thank you for your comment.
granulac
I don't think your comic upset anybody! as the poster below said it's good when questions like this come up.
Most strongly in the "Elijah can get his own damn wine!" comic, but I suppose a first-time reader could be forgiven for thinking that they were celebrating Passover ironically.
fishang1
Oh lord, ironic Judaism. Only in Octopus Pie.
I was also thinking of the Chanukah present she knit for Eve, assuming Eve herself isn't religious in any sense (she doesn't seem the type). Though that could be taken as ironic as well, what with the way it was more like a Christmas present, commercialism, blah blah blah, et cetera.
58 thoughts on “#576 – i don’t party anywhere”
Pieman
Badly needs a THE FUKKIN SHIT sign.
@jimmyjone
I warned you about skates bro!!!! I told you dog!
Rolo
Homestuck: The Musical could rival the Rocky Horror Picture Show for most gender-bending costumed audience members.
@arthurjplant
Yeah, but it could easily beat Rock Horror for most baffled audience members.
Rowen Morland
We need this as a kickstart for 2020.
aleksi
This is my new favorite page of all the pages. Someday I shall be rich and buy it and frame it and love it.
Also, Homestuck on ice. Yes.
Vabolo
Hehehe, "Homestuck on Ice"
or
"How Andrew Hussie Decided That Ruining Conventions Was Getting Old, So He Set His Sights on Broadway Instead"
Catherine
Omg the second one, I'm dead. XD
@jlandiseigsti
I'm so excited to go to Broadway and see Jake's new one-dog-show.
Mishyana
I read this and started scouring the first frame for Adventure Time references, but I'm not seeing anything…?
sergoetgrim
Just to the right of Homestuck on Ice is a billboard with Jake on it.
Joe Angel
I’m amazed you got it was Adventure Time just from the word “Jake”, a very common name, and yet you miss his face.
fishang1
"Homestuck on Ice."
Just gonna let that sink in.
A. Sabonis
Huh. I never got at all that Marigold was supposed to be/seem Jewish—to me she always read as somewhat more goyish than Anne Hathaway, actually
murphychacho
Pretty sure I remember her mentioning that she celebrates Hanukkah at one point.
Narf
"Here, I made you a Hanukkah present, you boyfriend-stealing bitch."
😀
Jack C
Why do girls tell other girls they're pretty?
I might tell a fellow bud he's looking well dressed or something, if he's dressed up, but other than that I don't. I generally don't compliment my friends on anything unless they've done something I think is really great.
When girls do that I just… I dunno. I cringe. I don't like when self esteem is tied to physical appearance.
HateMachine
Different codes, is what it is. A dude telling a dude that he's looking great and it looks like he's bulked up a little isn't just a breach of code, it's dudes' mutiny (as Onstad put it). Girls telling each other they're pretty isn't. Cultural norms ain't gotta be consistent.
Olle
You're right that it's a question of different codes, but I think what it stems from more than anything else is the all-consuming fear of seeming gay.
Garrett
I seldom ever worry about seeming gay. Why should it matter? If you are confident in your own sexuality then you don’t worry over those kinds of things.
HateMachine
I think it's probably much more separate from homophobia than you're giving it credit for. A lot of guys are generally uncomfortable being open with emotions, regardless of their feelings about homosexuality. There's a very, very long-held social expectation that men be stoic, and not put their feelings on display.
The result is that not only will a lot of guys not be comfortable giving compliments to other guys, they may also be uncomfortable receiving them. Which prompts a lot of other guys to refrain simply on the grounds that they don't know how their remarks will be received.
We're not looking-gay-averse (okay, several of us are), just awkwardness-averse.
ediggity
Because sometimes your friends are pretty and you want to tell them so? Doesn't really have to be more complicated than that.
@unsecretcrush
Well, of course self-esteem based on non-appearance is important. But lots of girls also want to be pretty, so it's nice when someone tells you so! Better still if it's from another girl, they usually don't have ulterior motives. It's also fun to compliment people, I guess? I told a girl I don't know that her haircut was cute once and she just beamed at me and I felt good about it all day.
Dave
Why shouldn't self-esteem be tied to physical appearance? It shouldn't rely on arbitrary and absurd standards of beauty, but physical appearance isn't meaningless — it's all about having an internalalized, strong self-image, which is of course what supportive comments like that are supposed to effect.
Tracy Bo-Bacy
Why do dudes worry so much about what girls do? They're always asking, "Why do girls go to the bathroom in groups? Why do girls take so long to get ready? Why are girls so emotional? Why do girls blah blah blah blah BLAH?" I don't know, why do guys obsess so much over girls? Just live your life and be happy, man.
JackC
I am happy. Its just something I seem to see girls do that I don't seem to see boys do I and I didn't really understand it. It was also relevant, because it was in the comic. I wanted to know whether there was any subtext I was missing since Mar seems to have a relatively fragile ego and sense of self-esteem.
When you don't know about something aren't you curious?
MerchManDan
…sarcasm?
Tom
Well, it's a good thing to ask questions like that. I mean, aside from learning about learned social behaviors you also learn about the society that fostered them. For instance, some girls go in groups to the bathroom because they are afraid of getting jumped on the way there or the way back, or just otherwise being bothered. Going somewhere in groups ups your security from outside attention. It may not even be a conscious thing for them, and it's not the reason all of them do it. But asking those sorts of questions reveals those sorts of answers, and in contemplating those answers we may reduce the amount of jackasses and bad people in the world as they become more aware.
Anyway, it is a good thing people ask questions so don't discourage! (unless they're extremely stupid [but none of the questions in this thread are extremely stupid])
granulac
girls don't necessarily "like it" either. they're just conditioned at a young age to put a lot of value into it – way more than their accomplishments.
JackC
Can you delete my comments? I wasn't trying to start a fight or ruffle feathers, because of my ignorance, but I think I some how did. If not, its okay.
Anyways, thanks for the comic.
JackC
And thank you for your comment.
granulac
I don't think your comic upset anybody! as the poster below said it's good when questions like this come up.
voxboxcomics
Jewish Anne Hathaway is the next big super hero
seb
homestuck on iiiiceee
marissa
omg homestuck on ice
Kate
Aw, I miss TRL.
Also guessing whatever Will gave her is finally kicking in maybe?
Also also am generally in awe of the detail/niceness of panel 2.
Bryy
Forget "Homestuck on Ice".
It's ALL about "Sold Out (But See It)".
Omnithea
Sneak in. Or get backstage. Kill your friends, steal their tickets. Whatever it takes. (But See It)
nottadog
Damn the sequels are good. But the prequels are crap (But See It)
flofan27
Sold Out (But see it!)
@HighwoodFool
Is it bad that I want to see Homestuck on Ice now?
darksquid
The witch one, sold out (but see it), a skating Karkat, and Marigold is Jewish. This is a fun page.
fishang1
I thought… I thought we already knew she was Jewish? It's never been explicitly stated but it's been strongly implied.
wykstrad
Most strongly in the "Elijah can get his own damn wine!" comic, but I suppose a first-time reader could be forgiven for thinking that they were celebrating Passover ironically.
fishang1
Oh lord, ironic Judaism. Only in Octopus Pie.
I was also thinking of the Chanukah present she knit for Eve, assuming Eve herself isn't religious in any sense (she doesn't seem the type). Though that could be taken as ironic as well, what with the way it was more like a Christmas present, commercialism, blah blah blah, et cetera.
Diloolie
THE WITCH ONE.
Fady
One scene of Homestuck: On Ice! depicts Karkat Vantas doing several laps around the rink, screaming the entire time.
That is the only thing that happens.
Dio
So what Hanna means is, she's Natalie Portman.
@MsDalfo
Pssssh, "The Witch One." Don't even pretend like you don't know the name of Wicked.
MerchManDan
Personally, I'm torn between "Young Zombies in Love" and "The Witch One."
Yammy
To myself I thought, "Haha, Homestuck on Ice. I wonder if anyone will catch that!"
SILLY ME
@aIexmoyler
The second/large panel is gorgeous. A large print of it would be epic.
Rascal
I love all of those billboards.
Julia
"IT'S OK"
Faiya
Mar looks like she doesn't like Anne Hathaway that much.
@lancelot323
I would see Homestuck on Ice in a heartbeat.
Christina Lauren
I spy Jake from Adventure Time!
HamsterNamedMitch
HOMESTUCK ON ICE
WHERE DO I GET TICKETS