…am I feeling some tension between Eve and Greg here? Anyways, yeah, being in the middle of a split couple can be quite stressful. It's hard to agree or disagree with any of the parts, specially when you want the best for both of them.
Not that Park deserves it. He looks like a huge manipulator "I'm such a victim" type for me.
…am I feeling some tension between Eve and Greg here? Anyways, yeah, being in the middle of a split couple can be quite stressful. It's hard to agree or disagree with any of the parts, specially when you want the best for both of them.
Honestly I think Greg has become one of the more self-aware characters in OP. Like at first, he was a kinda resentful guy, but like now he's more comfortable with who he is and is open to new things that help develop his character. like learning mandolin or lifting weights or going to bars. and it not like he brags about it either or throws it in peoples faces, he just does it for himself. i think because he isn't a character who's constantly facing relationship woes, he has time to work on himself, and that shows.
Eh, Greg's defending a friend. Not his fault Park's oblivious and kind-of-a-dick if he just listened.
If anything, Eve's the one who jumped to caustic here. Understandable, she's still upset, but Greg wasn't ready for that since he's not on the same page about Park, so it's kindof on her to not continue to put him on the defensive here.
While I totally get how Eve feels (and have been there with bad friends and bad exes), I agree. Being angry and bashing the person with shitty boundaries will not make a mutual friend take your side—especially if the mutual friend is close(er) to them. Best to explain your experience in a non-emotional way and then let them come to conclusions about the other person on their own. They may still like them, but at least they know how that person can be and it may put them on guard better. If you are angry and emotional/hateful, though, (even when it's super justified) they will just think you are a complainer. It becomes a lot of energy wasted for nothing and you potentially burn bridges.
Yep. And it's a hard lesson to learn, because most folks don't understand that going into a conversation like the one Eve is having. Even if they do, they may not care. The anger is too hot for any sort of caution.
I agree on that, but I meant more on the "snap out of it" side. Greg hasn't realized Park's problems and it seems like he looked up to him at one point, and some of the ideas surrounding Park are still in Greg's head. Eve's really blunt about it and I guess Greg is is kinda shocked to hear that about Park of all people.
Or maybe Park is a more complicated person than Eve is willing to see right now. Greg seems to be a pretty self-aware and grounded guy, and he sees both sides of Park. Park's a snob, he's arrogant, but he's also talented and ambitious, and he wants to see the people he cares about succeed as he succeeds (even if his attempts to push his friends to succeed come off as arrogant and, well, pushy). He's a human being, and being a bad date for someone and lashing out after having a drink thrown in his face doesn't make him a villain.
Give it up, Eve. You can't force the guy into figuring it out. Greg reminds me of a friend who is still buds with an ex-friend who has boundary issues. Ex-friend pretty much said she thought other mutual friends (including my friend who still likes her) were raising "maladjusted" children, because of their schooling choices and bragged her husband wouldn't hire kids from those schools. Then she attempted to harass me into sending my kid to her kid's school. I cut her lose like a gangrened limb, yet our mutual friend still doesn't get why she is bad to have around. Sadly, I've noticed the ex-friend tends to seek out people who have self esteem issues or are oblivious. All you can do is let them know what happened and walk away from it all if they keep bringing that ex-friend (or lover) up again.
He pressured her unfairly and expected a positive answer, and basically gave her an ultimatum – "uproot your life to move away with me, or there's no way this can work." Why was she the one who had to compromise and change to salvage their relationship? Why is she at fault for not just going along with his low-key emotional manipulation? What about how controlling and jealous he was, even though he was the one who cheated on her and lied about it during their first go-round? Or how he disparaged her friends constantly, even in front of them where they shared living space with Eve and he was a visitor? Let's also not forget what a spitefully passive aggressive dick he was when he didn't receive the response he was hoping for. He has a history of that in their breakups/falling outs.
Not saying he isn't entitled to feeling heartbroken. He very well might be sore because she didn't move in with him — and that really smarts. But she wasn't ready, she wanted to stay and she couldn't commit to what he was asking, and she told him she couldn't do it. She made the right choice for her; he got angry that she didn't mold herself to meet his expectations and ideals for what she should want out of her own life. He got his ego bruised and that's what he's clung to. She also didn't just pop into his life when it was convenient and fun for her, make him feel special during a fling, and then show no care or interest in what he'd done for himself or how he'd grown as a person — only to pay absolutely zero attention to how she was hurting him with her thoughtlessness and subsequently criticize him based off of a completely outdated concept of who he was instead of wondering what she might have done to warrant a drink to the face.
I get so weary with seeing people say that Park has more right to feel heartbroken by Eve because she chose to continue living where she wanted to live — where she had friends and people she cared about. That was a shitty fucking thing for Park to pull on her. He broke her heart and it clearly took her until now to see that she even had the right to *feel* that way because he put her in a position where she was either isolated and alone in a place she didn't know and didn't want to be, or she was the bad guy for ending a relationship that he gave her little freedom to be herself in. That screws with a person way more than being rejected does.
Remember when he gave her an ultimatum to drop her entire life and leave everyone she knows including her family and when she said she couldn't he was really shitty to her?
The thing is, Park might actually BE heartbroken, but his hurt is a lot more ego and a lot less about love being lost.
Eve didn't lie to him or not tell him about what was going on in her life. He didn't even ask. He just assumed that she hadn't done a single thing since the last time he saw her that was worth mentioning. Park thought Eve was an easy, simple, safe bet. It's why he went back to her, probably. Since his life now (unless things have changed drastically) involves him not being his old self so much, he likely wanted some of the old feeling he had when he was in control of a relationship. I doubt he has much control in his life currently, despite how he was harping about how awesome his life is.
Eve, meanwhile, had no illusions about ego or control, only about who Park really is. She was immature for going back to an ex, but she didn't intentionally or unintentionally screw with Park's emotions by not calling him, not seeing him, or treating him like he wasn't important. Until that drink got thrown in Park's face, Eve literally did nothing to Park that could be considered mean. And frankly, the drink in the face was a mild reaction to the snubbing he gave her.
Park might be heartbroken. Greg might be right. Doesn't mean that Eve's anger isn't justified. So Greg is now likely in a tight spot…
And here, we can see Eve clearly embody the anger and spite many of us were feeling during her date with Park. I was sort of waiting for it, to be honest. We need the raw, bitter resentment towards Park coming from the gal who was actually hurt by him, as well as that mirror to ourselves to see that, oof, yeah, it ain't pretty :/
Just cuz Park's an asshole doesn't mean he can't actually be heartbroken. Eve's hurt, so her lack of perspective is understandable, but she's going a bit far here.
How is she going to explain this to Greg in a way that makes him take her side? "Yeah, he's a total dick, he told me he missed me and we had sex but then I found out he didn't come see me one time when he was in town and then when I threw a drink in his face he couldn't figure out how to insult me properly!" This situation is sort of subtle, and she's sort of tipsy, so it seems like she could easily lose this battle due to communication breakdown.
I think both Park and Eve were dealing with versions of each other that were inflated in their heads and not grounded in how they actually are as people. That's how you can be an asshole and still be wistful.
My abusive ex told our whole community that I had broken his heart and stuff. Long distance breakup. And I had this exact anger when people would say things like "I can't believe what you did to him."
So… Is Ms. Everest here because she genuinely wants to connect with an old friend or because she feels the need to explain herself after she was called out on ditching them? Maybe also a little need to do the whole he-said-she-said bit to make sure her former friends who she doesn't even care to keep up with think she's innocent and Park is the bad guy?
I'm not saying Park isn't a douche. But let's not act like Eve hasn't played her part in fostering the dynamic and playing into it to satiate her own ego. Remember how beat up Eve was about cheating on Park with Will? How her anxieties were chasing her. And just when she was going to confess, Park fessed up to his cheating on her in the past, so Eve kept her secret to have her one up to have control of the situation. They're both immature babies trying to make sense of being adults.
Even going back and re-looking, that third panel is Eve's entire romanticized issue she's been circling around for YEARS and doesn't want to actually deal with… We've all been Eve in one way or another. You can see it in all of the comments, how we all root for her and take her side because we can relate, and it's why it's so easy to take some of these glaring flaws and gloss them over because it's a lot to the same shit people don't wanna deal with and that's why they flounder. Greg is the real Wisdom Bitch here hahaha
Ahhh the tension. So palpable.. and the color use again is so great. The red of Eve's anger flaring up vs the calm, cool blue influence that is the lavender-third-panel-introspective-Greg is wonderful. Really, really creates the atmosphere! And really, REALLY puts ya on edge for the shitstorm that's gonna come outta Eve's mouth next!
Also, this really is hitting close to home, it's so real, the complex emotions, the old friendships, the complicated and different paths each individual goes on, and how they intersect back and forth, over and under, in and out of each other's lives.
And of course navigating love.. It's really tough when you're both heartbroken AND feel like you wanted to give that certain ex a second chance because you really believe(d?) in them. It's like.. a trap. You can't make someone realize their potential, even if you think you see it in them, especially if you think you see it in them… People are what they make of themselves.. and everything takes time. What I mean to say is, great work Meredith and co.
What I like about the last few panels of this is that we don't know how much each character knows about their relationship, or their breakup. Does Greg even know that Park cheated on Eve when she was living in the suburbs? Eve never told Park about her and Will, but could he have figured it out anyway (Marigold did!)?
Also, did Park seem 'heartbroken' to Greg before or after he visited her & got a drink dumped on him? We just don't know!
I dunno, I think it surprised Eve a lot to hear what Greg said in the second-last panel there. Her retort seems to be not just a harsh rebuttal, but also kind of quickly nipping something in the bud before it grows into a hopeful thought that she definitely thinks she doesn't need right now after what Park put her emotions through.
While I agree with the nipping-in-the-bud, I'm not sure I'm comfortable with the additional actions Eve is clearly taking with kicking the tree, dousing it with oil and preparing to light the whole thing with fire… though of course, I'm still rooting for her growth! Tiny seedlings of growth though they may be…
Eve romanticized what Park meant to her, and Park clouded who Eve was. I think they both forgot the crucial fact that people change, and had they remembered that maybe there'd be cooler heads here now.
35 thoughts on “#907 – still kinda heartbroken”
Lules
…am I feeling some tension between Eve and Greg here? Anyways, yeah, being in the middle of a split couple can be quite stressful. It's hard to agree or disagree with any of the parts, specially when you want the best for both of them.
Not that Park deserves it. He looks like a huge manipulator "I'm such a victim" type for me.
Lules
…am I feeling some tension between Eve and Greg here? Anyways, yeah, being in the middle of a split couple can be quite stressful. It's hard to agree or disagree with any of the parts, specially when you want the best for both of them.
notaku
Honestly I think Greg has become one of the more self-aware characters in OP. Like at first, he was a kinda resentful guy, but like now he's more comfortable with who he is and is open to new things that help develop his character. like learning mandolin or lifting weights or going to bars. and it not like he brags about it either or throws it in peoples faces, he just does it for himself. i think because he isn't a character who's constantly facing relationship woes, he has time to work on himself, and that shows.
gabbiana
Oh, I forgot about the crossfit thing. Hee.
Laura
Geez, you're right! Man, I like Greg 🙂
Ash
My response would be "goddammit Eve, pull it together" – perspective is funny that way!
Gavalanche
More drinks to the face please.
Brockslide
It's Eve's turn to chill out.
Elisha
Eh, Greg's defending a friend. Not his fault Park's oblivious and kind-of-a-dick if he just listened.
If anything, Eve's the one who jumped to caustic here. Understandable, she's still upset, but Greg wasn't ready for that since he's not on the same page about Park, so it's kindof on her to not continue to put him on the defensive here.
Dotcom
While I totally get how Eve feels (and have been there with bad friends and bad exes), I agree. Being angry and bashing the person with shitty boundaries will not make a mutual friend take your side—especially if the mutual friend is close(er) to them. Best to explain your experience in a non-emotional way and then let them come to conclusions about the other person on their own. They may still like them, but at least they know how that person can be and it may put them on guard better. If you are angry and emotional/hateful, though, (even when it's super justified) they will just think you are a complainer. It becomes a lot of energy wasted for nothing and you potentially burn bridges.
JackPoint
Yep. And it's a hard lesson to learn, because most folks don't understand that going into a conversation like the one Eve is having. Even if they do, they may not care. The anger is too hot for any sort of caution.
GalacticPeanut
I agree on that, but I meant more on the "snap out of it" side. Greg hasn't realized Park's problems and it seems like he looked up to him at one point, and some of the ideas surrounding Park are still in Greg's head. Eve's really blunt about it and I guess Greg is is kinda shocked to hear that about Park of all people.
Steve B.
Or maybe Park is a more complicated person than Eve is willing to see right now. Greg seems to be a pretty self-aware and grounded guy, and he sees both sides of Park. Park's a snob, he's arrogant, but he's also talented and ambitious, and he wants to see the people he cares about succeed as he succeeds (even if his attempts to push his friends to succeed come off as arrogant and, well, pushy). He's a human being, and being a bad date for someone and lashing out after having a drink thrown in his face doesn't make him a villain.
Dotcom
Give it up, Eve. You can't force the guy into figuring it out. Greg reminds me of a friend who is still buds with an ex-friend who has boundary issues. Ex-friend pretty much said she thought other mutual friends (including my friend who still likes her) were raising "maladjusted" children, because of their schooling choices and bragged her husband wouldn't hire kids from those schools. Then she attempted to harass me into sending my kid to her kid's school. I cut her lose like a gangrened limb, yet our mutual friend still doesn't get why she is bad to have around. Sadly, I've noticed the ex-friend tends to seek out people who have self esteem issues or are oblivious. All you can do is let them know what happened and walk away from it all if they keep bringing that ex-friend (or lover) up again.
peakpointmatrix
Are we about to get an "actually you refused to move with him a few years ago" reminder for Eve from Greg?
God I never want this drama to end.
Kita
He pressured her unfairly and expected a positive answer, and basically gave her an ultimatum – "uproot your life to move away with me, or there's no way this can work." Why was she the one who had to compromise and change to salvage their relationship? Why is she at fault for not just going along with his low-key emotional manipulation? What about how controlling and jealous he was, even though he was the one who cheated on her and lied about it during their first go-round? Or how he disparaged her friends constantly, even in front of them where they shared living space with Eve and he was a visitor? Let's also not forget what a spitefully passive aggressive dick he was when he didn't receive the response he was hoping for. He has a history of that in their breakups/falling outs.
Not saying he isn't entitled to feeling heartbroken. He very well might be sore because she didn't move in with him — and that really smarts. But she wasn't ready, she wanted to stay and she couldn't commit to what he was asking, and she told him she couldn't do it. She made the right choice for her; he got angry that she didn't mold herself to meet his expectations and ideals for what she should want out of her own life. He got his ego bruised and that's what he's clung to. She also didn't just pop into his life when it was convenient and fun for her, make him feel special during a fling, and then show no care or interest in what he'd done for himself or how he'd grown as a person — only to pay absolutely zero attention to how she was hurting him with her thoughtlessness and subsequently criticize him based off of a completely outdated concept of who he was instead of wondering what she might have done to warrant a drink to the face.
I get so weary with seeing people say that Park has more right to feel heartbroken by Eve because she chose to continue living where she wanted to live — where she had friends and people she cared about. That was a shitty fucking thing for Park to pull on her. He broke her heart and it clearly took her until now to see that she even had the right to *feel* that way because he put her in a position where she was either isolated and alone in a place she didn't know and didn't want to be, or she was the bad guy for ending a relationship that he gave her little freedom to be herself in. That screws with a person way more than being rejected does.
Laura
Remember when he gave her an ultimatum to drop her entire life and leave everyone she knows including her family and when she said she couldn't he was really shitty to her?
tropey
Man, has Greg got an earful on the way. I hope Eve doesn't reach for the cocktail, he's probably only heard the one side.
JackPoint
The thing is, Park might actually BE heartbroken, but his hurt is a lot more ego and a lot less about love being lost.
Eve didn't lie to him or not tell him about what was going on in her life. He didn't even ask. He just assumed that she hadn't done a single thing since the last time he saw her that was worth mentioning. Park thought Eve was an easy, simple, safe bet. It's why he went back to her, probably. Since his life now (unless things have changed drastically) involves him not being his old self so much, he likely wanted some of the old feeling he had when he was in control of a relationship. I doubt he has much control in his life currently, despite how he was harping about how awesome his life is.
Eve, meanwhile, had no illusions about ego or control, only about who Park really is. She was immature for going back to an ex, but she didn't intentionally or unintentionally screw with Park's emotions by not calling him, not seeing him, or treating him like he wasn't important. Until that drink got thrown in Park's face, Eve literally did nothing to Park that could be considered mean. And frankly, the drink in the face was a mild reaction to the snubbing he gave her.
Park might be heartbroken. Greg might be right. Doesn't mean that Eve's anger isn't justified. So Greg is now likely in a tight spot…
Faye
And here, we can see Eve clearly embody the anger and spite many of us were feeling during her date with Park. I was sort of waiting for it, to be honest. We need the raw, bitter resentment towards Park coming from the gal who was actually hurt by him, as well as that mirror to ourselves to see that, oof, yeah, it ain't pretty :/
just some guy
Just cuz Park's an asshole doesn't mean he can't actually be heartbroken. Eve's hurt, so her lack of perspective is understandable, but she's going a bit far here.
Mr. Biffles
How is she going to explain this to Greg in a way that makes him take her side? "Yeah, he's a total dick, he told me he missed me and we had sex but then I found out he didn't come see me one time when he was in town and then when I threw a drink in his face he couldn't figure out how to insult me properly!" This situation is sort of subtle, and she's sort of tipsy, so it seems like she could easily lose this battle due to communication breakdown.
Maritza
Kind of hard to ask of Eve to let go on the anger. She's wearing the same clothes, it's the same day she threw Parker's drink to his face.
metroidlunch
Oh my fucking God I thought Park would be gone from the story
Eve you're so over him dammit
Chez
I think both Park and Eve were dealing with versions of each other that were inflated in their heads and not grounded in how they actually are as people. That's how you can be an asshole and still be wistful.
My abusive ex told our whole community that I had broken his heart and stuff. Long distance breakup. And I had this exact anger when people would say things like "I can't believe what you did to him."
humanoftheyear
So… Is Ms. Everest here because she genuinely wants to connect with an old friend or because she feels the need to explain herself after she was called out on ditching them? Maybe also a little need to do the whole he-said-she-said bit to make sure her former friends who she doesn't even care to keep up with think she's innocent and Park is the bad guy?
I'm not saying Park isn't a douche. But let's not act like Eve hasn't played her part in fostering the dynamic and playing into it to satiate her own ego. Remember how beat up Eve was about cheating on Park with Will? How her anxieties were chasing her. And just when she was going to confess, Park fessed up to his cheating on her in the past, so Eve kept her secret to have her one up to have control of the situation. They're both immature babies trying to make sense of being adults.
humanoftheyear
Even going back and re-looking, that third panel is Eve's entire romanticized issue she's been circling around for YEARS and doesn't want to actually deal with… We've all been Eve in one way or another. You can see it in all of the comments, how we all root for her and take her side because we can relate, and it's why it's so easy to take some of these glaring flaws and gloss them over because it's a lot to the same shit people don't wanna deal with and that's why they flounder. Greg is the real Wisdom Bitch here hahaha
Amy
Ahhh the tension. So palpable.. and the color use again is so great. The red of Eve's anger flaring up vs the calm, cool blue influence that is the lavender-third-panel-introspective-Greg is wonderful. Really, really creates the atmosphere! And really, REALLY puts ya on edge for the shitstorm that's gonna come outta Eve's mouth next!
Amy
Also, this really is hitting close to home, it's so real, the complex emotions, the old friendships, the complicated and different paths each individual goes on, and how they intersect back and forth, over and under, in and out of each other's lives.
And of course navigating love.. It's really tough when you're both heartbroken AND feel like you wanted to give that certain ex a second chance because you really believe(d?) in them. It's like.. a trap. You can't make someone realize their potential, even if you think you see it in them, especially if you think you see it in them… People are what they make of themselves.. and everything takes time. What I mean to say is, great work Meredith and co.
Kate
What I like about the last few panels of this is that we don't know how much each character knows about their relationship, or their breakup. Does Greg even know that Park cheated on Eve when she was living in the suburbs? Eve never told Park about her and Will, but could he have figured it out anyway (Marigold did!)?
Also, did Park seem 'heartbroken' to Greg before or after he visited her & got a drink dumped on him? We just don't know!
Marp
She's wearing the same clothes, so probably before (unless Park went straight from drink dumping to cry on Greg's shoulder)
Kate
Ohhhh, good call!
Rufi
Man, I really like Greg. He's so grounded!
I dunno, I think it surprised Eve a lot to hear what Greg said in the second-last panel there. Her retort seems to be not just a harsh rebuttal, but also kind of quickly nipping something in the bud before it grows into a hopeful thought that she definitely thinks she doesn't need right now after what Park put her emotions through.
While I agree with the nipping-in-the-bud, I'm not sure I'm comfortable with the additional actions Eve is clearly taking with kicking the tree, dousing it with oil and preparing to light the whole thing with fire… though of course, I'm still rooting for her growth! Tiny seedlings of growth though they may be…
Katie
It's NOT a contest Eve !!!
hmblatter
Eve romanticized what Park meant to her, and Park clouded who Eve was. I think they both forgot the crucial fact that people change, and had they remembered that maybe there'd be cooler heads here now.