In anticipation of the new Octopus Pie Vol 1 reprint, I did 2 interviews in the past few days you should check out:
Paste Magazine!Inkstuds podcast with Sloane Leong!
Intelligence says the book's out Feb 24th. March 1st in bookstores!
Well, hey, can't spell "girlfriend" (or "boyfriend") without the friend bit, so… still applies, right? I mean, you'd hope that the person you're in a romantic relationship with is also your friend, or at least that's how I feel.
I do agree with the original sentiment, though. Seriously, props to Jane for not bailing out and being supportive, but also being frank and not letting Mar's blustering push her around. Hopefully once Mar gets a hold of herself again she'll apologize for the outburst, cos' feeling shitty doesn't mean making other people feel shitty is okay.
On the bright side, if they work through this, it's a hell of a good step in the right direction.
Not sure about that, actually. Sometimes you need to set boundaries by walking away when treated a certain way. And sometimes people are screaming because they need to be left alone. Subscribing to this view uncritically can be harmful to your friendships.
No, that's true, there's definitely times when you need to do that. But I think in this specific situation, Jane is doing the right thing. If it ever comes to the point where she has to walk away from Mar in a situation like this, I don't doubt she'll have the resolve to do so–but I'd personally feel REALLY uncomfortable if she did that RIGHT NOW, when Mar has lost the keys to her apartment at god-knows-what-hour, in an unstable mood, and just… yeah.
I mean Mar's reaction was over the top here, but it's also not based on nothing, Jane needs to recognize and be supportive of the fact that Marigold is trying to quit smoking.
But obviously that wasn't the core issue here, she recognized that, and stuck around to figure out what was actually going on.
I think it shows a nice progression in our cast learning how to deal with things. Contrast with Will who would have insta-noped out of there during his relationship with Marigold.
I said this elsewhere, but I think this arc is really characterized by Malek's mom's comment to Eve- "It's hard work, with love. Making it work." Jane has had this intense romantic view of love, she wants to fall in love whole-heartedly but doesn't really know about the making it work part. Marigold's problem is wearing a mask and faking it. She's not honest with herself or with other people. And this exchange is amazing and I <3 because we see both of them working on that.
Yup about Will, and that scares me because I still ship Will and Eve, but I'm not entirely sure he's ready to be something to someone without insta-noping when there's a problem.
Ohhhh the amount of times I've had this conversation with my girlfriend when she's particularly stressed out, averse to anything that might deprive her much needed peace and quiet or force her to… SOCIALIZE.
It probably wasn't what was happening with Marigold but this reminded me of a really unhelpful thing I've experienced: sometimes when I get upset my throat seizes up and I can't make words anymore and it's guaranteed to make an already unpleasant scenario worse because whoever's there doesn't know what's going on, and you can't tell them, and they don't know if you're not speaking to them on purpose or if you're having an outright breakdown or what, and it's just no fun. I'm glad Jane stuck it out like a pal. Good on you, Jane.
To all the people saying Mar hasn't grown…this is growth. When you're a high strung person who handles stress badly it's super hard to control that and you can see she's trying and man Jane is handling it like a boss.
How is this growth? She doesn't express any gratitude to Jane. She doesn't apologize. She doesn't acknowledge she's done anything wrong. And I don't think those last two speech bubbles are from Marigold.
Because past Mar would have either put it on other people, booked it out, or possibly blamed Jane. She backs down and is trusting Jane to help her through her panic/freak out. Gratitude comes later, she's still winding down from the explosion. This is what I do in my smaller panic attacks and it is hard to trust someone enough to let them guide you out of that moment. They are a good couple and I love them.
Wait guys. I don't think those last bubbles are Mar's. They seem to be speech bubbles for a conversation that's about to come up, but I don't think they're hers.
They sound self-analyzing. To be honest, they made me flashback to a couple of therapy sessions I've had while talking about myself and trying to work through my own problems…
… kind of like what Will is probably doing right now. Hm…
I agree. This looks like a segue to Will's therapy stuff from earlier. It's introspective, like you said, and the bubble's a different color. Plus the page prematurely ending into white like that hints at there being a type of fade into the next scene.
Every time I see Jane with the expression of panel 4, I imagine her having a sweet, sweet voice. Cheese and crackers, I'm so into her! Is that inappropriate? =/
Y'all act like you've never tried to move on from a place in your life that you felt was stagnant. I'm not saying I agree with Mar's new path, but she just spent a whole evening with people she associates with an entirely different lifestyle. It's like going back to your hometown and bumping into your old friend group and all of a sudden there you are, falling back into a former self that you haven't thought about (or purposefully tried to forget) because those years of conditioning have got some strong associations lodged in your person.
No wonder she's stressed – she's trying to reconcile her past and her new self. I don't think that's dishonesty with either herself or her friend group. Give the girl a break.
So a really emotionally confusing evening doing things she probably should have just declined in the first place (but didn't because you really want to try to be with people you found comforting and supportive at one point) topped with the final offer of an activity that is not only extremely difficult to quit, but could (rationally or irrationally) trigger a backslide into all the old habits, then stacked with losing the keys to the one place you're really comfortable and allowed to be a mess of yourself.
I get it.
Growing difficult by itself. It's harder when some of your friends are actively against it, or when some of them just don't understand why you would want to in the first place (it's hard to be supportive as well).
A few people have mentioned Mar moving on from her friends, and her friends holding her back or being unsupportive, and while I see it with Hanna, I don't really see how being around, say, Eve (or even perhaps Marek) would do that. What have they done to be unsupportive or holding her back? Or is it just the memory of yourself in a time that they are symbolic of?
I think a little of it had to do with the mention of Hanna when talking to Marek. And also a lot to do with your last sentence, those can be powerful emotions.
39 thoughts on “#871 – it’ll be fine”
david pablo cohn
Good friend == someone who will stay with you and stay calm while you're screaming at them. Good on ya, Jane…
angfdz
"friend"? lol
Rynverral
Special friend
Spectacles
Well, hey, can't spell "girlfriend" (or "boyfriend") without the friend bit, so… still applies, right? I mean, you'd hope that the person you're in a romantic relationship with is also your friend, or at least that's how I feel.
I do agree with the original sentiment, though. Seriously, props to Jane for not bailing out and being supportive, but also being frank and not letting Mar's blustering push her around. Hopefully once Mar gets a hold of herself again she'll apologize for the outburst, cos' feeling shitty doesn't mean making other people feel shitty is okay.
On the bright side, if they work through this, it's a hell of a good step in the right direction.
BESTEST
They are the bestest of GAL PALS
perp
Not sure about that, actually. Sometimes you need to set boundaries by walking away when treated a certain way. And sometimes people are screaming because they need to be left alone. Subscribing to this view uncritically can be harmful to your friendships.
Spectacles
No, that's true, there's definitely times when you need to do that. But I think in this specific situation, Jane is doing the right thing. If it ever comes to the point where she has to walk away from Mar in a situation like this, I don't doubt she'll have the resolve to do so–but I'd personally feel REALLY uncomfortable if she did that RIGHT NOW, when Mar has lost the keys to her apartment at god-knows-what-hour, in an unstable mood, and just… yeah.
jackelgin
I mean Mar's reaction was over the top here, but it's also not based on nothing, Jane needs to recognize and be supportive of the fact that Marigold is trying to quit smoking.
But obviously that wasn't the core issue here, she recognized that, and stuck around to figure out what was actually going on.
I think it shows a nice progression in our cast learning how to deal with things. Contrast with Will who would have insta-noped out of there during his relationship with Marigold.
I said this elsewhere, but I think this arc is really characterized by Malek's mom's comment to Eve- "It's hard work, with love. Making it work." Jane has had this intense romantic view of love, she wants to fall in love whole-heartedly but doesn't really know about the making it work part. Marigold's problem is wearing a mask and faking it. She's not honest with herself or with other people. And this exchange is amazing and I <3 because we see both of them working on that.
channamasala
Yup about Will, and that scares me because I still ship Will and Eve, but I'm not entirely sure he's ready to be something to someone without insta-noping when there's a problem.
Will
Wasn't expecting that in the last panel
peakpointmatrix
Ohhhh the amount of times I've had this conversation with my girlfriend when she's particularly stressed out, averse to anything that might deprive her much needed peace and quiet or force her to… SOCIALIZE.
jackelgin
How serendipitous
Arianod
…like how quick you are to freak out as soon as you feel you aren't on top of things?
Aleksi
You're tearing me apart, Marigold.
jelmack
Haha, what a story, Jane.
Mayumi
oh HIIII Doggie.
kbode
You get to walk through –like– a dozen parties to get to Jane's room!
Arianod
I know. There's no way there's gonna be "nothing going on" there.
Copycat
inb4 there's totally something going on there.
Squid
It probably wasn't what was happening with Marigold but this reminded me of a really unhelpful thing I've experienced: sometimes when I get upset my throat seizes up and I can't make words anymore and it's guaranteed to make an already unpleasant scenario worse because whoever's there doesn't know what's going on, and you can't tell them, and they don't know if you're not speaking to them on purpose or if you're having an outright breakdown or what, and it's just no fun. I'm glad Jane stuck it out like a pal. Good on you, Jane.
MissFinefeather
Mar, she's a keeper!
Beth
To all the people saying Mar hasn't grown…this is growth. When you're a high strung person who handles stress badly it's super hard to control that and you can see she's trying and man Jane is handling it like a boss.
God I love them as a couple so so much
Faith
How is this growth? She doesn't express any gratitude to Jane. She doesn't apologize. She doesn't acknowledge she's done anything wrong. And I don't think those last two speech bubbles are from Marigold.
Beth
Because past Mar would have either put it on other people, booked it out, or possibly blamed Jane. She backs down and is trusting Jane to help her through her panic/freak out. Gratitude comes later, she's still winding down from the explosion. This is what I do in my smaller panic attacks and it is hard to trust someone enough to let them guide you out of that moment. They are a good couple and I love them.
Mighty
Hooray! They deescalated the situation like adults!
Marvin Choi
I hope they go back for some super snuggle snug times.
Faye
Wait guys. I don't think those last bubbles are Mar's. They seem to be speech bubbles for a conversation that's about to come up, but I don't think they're hers.
They sound self-analyzing. To be honest, they made me flashback to a couple of therapy sessions I've had while talking about myself and trying to work through my own problems…
… kind of like what Will is probably doing right now. Hm…
seagate
They could be Marigold's thought bubbles. That "Oh my God…" she spoke in the last panel sounds like she's just had a revelation.
Also, we've seen those rounded, tail-less bubbles used to represent thoughts before,
as in this comic: http://www.octopuspie.com/2015-08-13/815-816-ther…
Dell
I agree. This looks like a segue to Will's therapy stuff from earlier. It's introspective, like you said, and the bubble's a different color. Plus the page prematurely ending into white like that hints at there being a type of fade into the next scene.
Allynn
Are you some sort of fucking wizard? How did you guess this so well.
channamasala
I agree. They're also in Will's speaking style (highly intelligent, perhaps a bit unreliable or in his own head), not Mar's.
seagate
Marigold doesn't have a highly intelligent speaking style? Did you miss this comic? http://www.octopuspie.com/2015-02-28/757-one-foot…
anonymous
If it was me with Marigold I'd be out of there. No way could I handle that kind of temper and treatment.
NemoProprius
Every time I see Jane with the expression of panel 4, I imagine her having a sweet, sweet voice. Cheese and crackers, I'm so into her! Is that inappropriate? =/
Arianod
*Not* being into Jane would be inappropriate :/
Samalamadingdong
Y'all act like you've never tried to move on from a place in your life that you felt was stagnant. I'm not saying I agree with Mar's new path, but she just spent a whole evening with people she associates with an entirely different lifestyle. It's like going back to your hometown and bumping into your old friend group and all of a sudden there you are, falling back into a former self that you haven't thought about (or purposefully tried to forget) because those years of conditioning have got some strong associations lodged in your person.
No wonder she's stressed – she's trying to reconcile her past and her new self. I don't think that's dishonesty with either herself or her friend group. Give the girl a break.
So a really emotionally confusing evening doing things she probably should have just declined in the first place (but didn't because you really want to try to be with people you found comforting and supportive at one point) topped with the final offer of an activity that is not only extremely difficult to quit, but could (rationally or irrationally) trigger a backslide into all the old habits, then stacked with losing the keys to the one place you're really comfortable and allowed to be a mess of yourself.
I get it.
Growing difficult by itself. It's harder when some of your friends are actively against it, or when some of them just don't understand why you would want to in the first place (it's hard to be supportive as well).
channamasala
A few people have mentioned Mar moving on from her friends, and her friends holding her back or being unsupportive, and while I see it with Hanna, I don't really see how being around, say, Eve (or even perhaps Marek) would do that. What have they done to be unsupportive or holding her back? Or is it just the memory of yourself in a time that they are symbolic of?
kickpass
I think a little of it had to do with the mention of Hanna when talking to Marek. And also a lot to do with your last sentence, those can be powerful emotions.
Chris
I kinda hope they get married.